And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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