Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
