i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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