We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
