OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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