But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
