So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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