I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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