Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
