I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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