How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
