You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
