There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
