I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
