i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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