When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
