you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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