Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
