is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
as a side note pls kill me
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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