I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize