dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
