Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
