I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
