Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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