Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
