You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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