Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Randomize
