I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize