It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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