She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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