Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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