p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Holy sore nipples Batman
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
