she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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