He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
