i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
