I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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