i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
