Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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