from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
