i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I smell like Dick and happiness
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
