true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
