I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
