Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
