I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
