I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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