just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
