Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
