I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
