oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
