i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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