I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
