she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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