I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
