I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just cut my nipple shaving
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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