Screwed.edu
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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