The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize